Looking like I’m about to take a trip to the other side….
I would say that I am about 94.7% there but I can’t believe I am THERE.
To think that I woulda sold off this life for a timeline of wealth and fame where I woulda been locked into a unfulfilling role of playing an image that I am not.
That’s why I walked off this show:
– Boy that brings back so many memories. I remember hating L.A. when they first flew me out here cause I was so used to the NY way of life. Now I’ve been living out here for 13 years going strong lol ??
– Life can be ironic.
Ain’t nothing worth selling who you are, truly are – your identity and I know that organic portals won’t understand so stay the fuck off of here before I ‘woke ya ass:
With that being said, I am sooo fucking happy that I am getting close to healing. So fucking happy.
It is like. IT IS a dream come true. 6 years wrestling with demonic, e-vile ass spirits, people being possessed and influenced by that shit.
I wanna say that alot of what I thought in the past was entity attachment issues or possession…..
….were really just energetic aspects of me that were out of whack. For instance – right when I refused to give in to an urge to take a pic of something (it was interesting nonetheless) I felt “the thing” that is on the right side of my eye subside in power.
It’s what I thought was (and still think might be) the vril possessing entity. I now think it was a hyperconscious aspect of myself that I acquired after my kundalini awakening in 1999 – where it was just all know-ledge, all information, EVERYBODY’S FUCKING FEELINGS AND EMOTION empathetically attaching itself to me, unwittingly. I reacquired it when I did a soul retrieval ritual while a satanist. It IS responsible for why I can’t accept gifts and will endure an unwitting energy exchange of other folks’ blessings and cursings (and visa versa) as well as the crazy alcohol and food urges – which seems to be wanning, subsiding!
I broke it down here:
….Thought I solved that shit awhile back lol…..
Another thing, while chilling on the beach, deep in meditative contemplation (I don’t do that ohm shit I just let thoughts flow), something told me to stick around on the beach a lil longer even as some perving OLD ass jackass was there playing his loud music to get my attention (I gave his ass that Godzilla stare I got from my father and I COULD FEEL he got the message) and….. a download just arrived to me! While doing a lil kundalini/crown chakra clearing ‘woke (I could feel heat rising) a “thought”, more like an energy came to me: an energy that protected and sorta patched the side part of my sacral chakra.
See your chakras radiate the circumference and full width of the area it is in:
It goes horizonatal, the energy zone and projects OUT depending on how open it is.
My sacral chakra was WIDE OPEN hence why in part alot of sexual energy vampires were coming at me.
As you can see in the video when the download patched it up so I can still sense shit from people without being burdened by they shit – I felt like a fucking leader, like my shit was together with that energy download – that old bitch turned his fucking head away.
I peep I became more fucking masculine (Imma get that mofo in the crusty gold ass corolla or buick that look similar to the rapist car) ☝?
I actually loved TF outta that energy cause it was a single minded warrior energy, I was fearless ASS FUCK and no longer enduring the feminine side that tries to hold you back like a friend in a fight.
I was letting niggaz NO with no doubt in my mind or my energy and that was really fucking empowering…..
That said a spiritual awakening and ascension ain’t like what the fake organic portals say it is. It ain’t cute. It is a hard hard process that will be combined with physical adversity, emotional – it’s fucking spiritual boot camp and all throughout your emotions won’t hold ya because that shit will become eclectic, changing day by day to fight the shit you supposed to learn as part of your life path.
That said, I have finally found where I am supposed to be and I am really truly happy to be getting put back together. Aside from the German shaman who has helped me, I have really pulled myself up by the bootstrap. My consciousness, my soul construct is being put back together – piece by piece. It’s been hard – really hard carrying this. It’s been tumultuous, folks call me crazy which is why I don’t give my energy to others and got fortified walls of steel built of concrete with a moat with alligators and dragons around ?? – when I know you aren’t a good person and don’t have my best intentions at heart. I have to say again that energy was sooo fulfilling, just delicious. I didn’t care people’s stares, I didn’t care about that shit. I was truly stepping in to my power. I felt really fucking strong. Then some fucking vampires, seeing me objectie-fyingly as a “challenge” – decided to challenge me to pick a piece of that energy and tear me down.
Imma say this to girls and women who want to or do deal in relationships (outside of prostitution I never had a proper one and DON’T want to be bothered), know yourself. Don’t let these mofos tear you down to build up they false strenght reliant on fake ass ego and insecurity, requiring strenght at the expense of another. I don’t play that shit:
– What that girl told me fucks with me…..
That said, many of my physical fights were with dudes that were not at all in my life. These were dudes who in passing were intimidated by me and wanted to beat me – which is analogous to the intentions behind rape – so they can build themselves by making you weak in they eyes….
That’s why even when I fall, I still get back up again:
Even if I KNOW the mofo gonna beat my ass or in some cases, kill me….
I still stand my ground cause I’m not gonna give those fuckers the satisfaction of thinking they done defeated me so they can steal energy from me…..
The name of the game is energy
Speaking of which, ya know how I speak intrusions you’ll face from the demiurge and reps on the path to coming into your power…..
I spoke on this yesterday…..
His agent of the reptilians black ass popped up again. I was doing ‘woke against an enemy who did me wrong, a couple actually and, not to give away too much, this mofo “interceded” and tried to get me to bow to god the demiurge!
I sent him some shit back!
When I spoke, called out his nigga nigga back to ape-rica ass about it early this morning he kept insisting I listen to the “ancestors”. I saw reptilians as the “ancestors” when I used my third eye to see what’s around:
He def. under something….. I feel he mocking me too, sadistically!
Imma go rant: NEVER GO TO A FUCKING NIGGER FOR SPIRITUAL WORK! Even niggers in fucking africa aka ape-rica have a very limited, just lacking in spiritual discernment comprehension of spirituality. Esp. with Black Americans it’s fucking instituted on physicality like how you look in your current life. I mean – if you wanna resolve an irrational fear of water, it most likely derives from a past life. Even in voodoo they don’t believe in prior incarnations. It is just very materialistically the here and now, nothing before or after.
They are not deep like East Asian spiritual philosophies like Buddhism are or wise. With them it is just a game of unquestionably “obeying” the fucking gods like stupid ass fucking niggers being obedient to their slavemasters and doing rituals merely to enhance their own materiality/ physicality. No real fucking healing or deep thinking involved.
Fuck with a white person, esp. for “white” magick if you want healing due to their tendencies to take in others spiritual systems and logicize that shit and their one dimensional viewpoint of everything having to be “good” and “pure” and “white“. Wicca is like that, them taking from other’s (people of colour’s) spiritual systems and throwing in a smorgasboard of interpretations based on their personal perspectives aka “whitewashing” while claiming they war-ship nature AND claiming you gotta be pure in intentions which don’t make sense cayse fucking nature is duality and real magicians, witches, sorcerers, Gods, Goddesses know this!
If you want esp. dark shit, go to latins! They got dat shid on lock and they have a better understanding of that world then both whites and blacks! South American shamans and their shamanism can be GREAT for healing. They do ayahuasca ceremonies (be careful you got mofos that’ll rape your ass while you are under it’s influence and it is kept hushed hushed by the politically correct fake new (c)age community). Reminds me of that film The Serpent and The Rainbow of how the main character used South American truly healing shamanism to overcome wicked ass shit being done to him by a voodoo priest:
Another great group to go to for healing are Southeast Asian monks – my soul incarnation heritage.
Another thing – I HATE how the new “jesus christ will save ya” greeting is “call on the ancestors” by niggas. Some of your fucking ancestors were slavemasters – you gonna call them? I knew a lady who unwittingly had an ancestor attached to her who liked doing heroin while alive and forced her to do the same by possessing her. Wanna call on him?
I wouldn’t go to niggaz for spiritual work is my take.
Nigga talking about “ancestors”. What about past lives? I was a mormon white girl in a past life and Vietnamese in the most recent! Do the ancestors from those past lives don’t count? You your fucking soul. Your physicality – esp. for someone like me – is not all I am. It’s foolish to just relegate yourself to just one fucking life when you are dealing with spiritual matters.
Fucking nigger told me to worship ie give my energy to Oshun. Fuck you. Niggers – esp. ape-ricans (I knew an African girl complaining how dark and evil they asses are) – I just fucking can’t! I’m speechless!
Anyways, I had a GORGEOUS time with this renewed downloaded energy at the beach:
I refashioned the necklace my baby brother gave to me after he got rescued from hell:
Fun fact. The mofo who stabbed me that night returned this key right back to me, PERFECTLY lining up with the key opener, PERFECT!
– Why mofos gotta trash this beauty-full Earth!
Can’t believe this shit coming full circle for me. It’s like a dream come true! Finally!