How The Ego Keeps You From Healing And Attracts Bad Shit To You

….like a fallen jar of jam, if left spilled, will attract roaches, rats, and other vermin…..

Looka the natural alignment of those rocks….

Those mean that I myself am coming into natural alignmemt…..

With that said, early this morning…. I had a dream.

I entered into a troublesome Jurassic Park like entrance that was filled with giant T- Rex’s. I was guided by a sandy blonde haired white man. As I was being guided to avoid the danger of being gulped up by these creatures I witnessed what I knew in my heart chakra to be two enemies: one who had a bald head at the top with hair flanking the sides who was wearing camoflauge pants and a cow printed shirt (etheric realm symbolism) who looked like Dee Snider who I sensed was this Jack Maney troll who harasses both me and Colton Wood, who then got gobbled up by a T rex. I then saw another sandy haired white guy who I felt was the naval dude who attacked me at Danny’s Palm Bar and Grill get gobbled up by one. I then made my way out, and I sensed the white dude stayed behind. I recall this taking place at a science lab in the Bermuda Triangle.

Triangluar spirit symbolism has been following me for quite some time…..

– That triangle was RIGHT on my heart chakra and funny I talked about a close on the heart chakra there:

Major Spiritual Healing Landmark Points To Innate Lack of Self Love For Why Entities Attached To Me

It is a reptilian symbol:

It’s interesting, at dusk and at night I kept hearing what sounded like a snake – I sensed an actual animal – hissing outside my car. It seemed it got in here cause I could hear something banging against metal though I saw nothing outside….

That said, I am not sure as to what to think of them at this point? Were they helping me learn a karmic lesson by intuitively guiding me?

We incarnate on Earth for various reasons. Some come here as young Souls just to experience life in the 3D in a vessel called a “body”. Some of us choose to incarnate here so we can have hard lives so we can learn certain lessons as adversity gives strenght to the Soul. It reminds me of how, when I would endure some pretty bad situations……

– The rape by a wetback in NYC (Imma talk about those creatures in my next article).

….I’d feel a jolt of VERY POWER-FULL energy surge through me…..

Some are here for a Calling. That is why I am here. I needed to learn a karmic lesson so I can do what I came here to do:

 

That said, the ego is a mofo to subdue!

Like I said with the example of the jar spilling, when you carry a deep wound that burrows itself into your psyche and therefore your Soul at a very young age, it is EXTREMELY HARD to remove that trauma. That trauma festers and entity attachments will ultimately attach who will yield more and more and more trauma….

It makes sense why what that teacher said about me having to drop the English accent had such a major pivotal impact: it was meant to set the stage for me to start to go Soul searching so I can peel back the layers of trauma to get to what originally festered in me and caused me to take that bullshit to heart.

I was oversensitive subliminally, for years, because I had subconsciously devoured the mindset that I have to approach attacks from others the way others would, how they see it.

For instance, it is my natural nature to be at a heightened level of consciousness where I have great overstanding and innerstanding so shit just rolls off my back. When I was young, folks have a fucked up, dirty way of rubbing salt in your wounds.

Assholes would say: “Man I wouldn’t let so and so do that” (while their cowardly asses won’t do shit and let you take the rap). All throughout my life I internalized this peer pressure where “to prove myself to others” I would do shit THEY wouldn’t do if they told me to for the height of peer pressure glory.

I was basically a slave to other folks’ emotions.

It was subconscious low self esteem that got me there.

I had to go within to peel back layers to find my way out of it.

It was seeded, starting from when I was 5, that I should emotionally pick up on and act the way others would do in terms of approaching a situation. I felt a “fall from grace” by taking on that mentality but I figured that that is how you have to deal in the world.

As I say here…..

 

…..Don’t let folks take you away from yourself.

As I said in the video here:

 

Good examples of that is when a girl told me “You need to be concerned about Ghetto Gaggers making all of that money off of you (which they aren’t)” after I was happy of finally getting my car and moving out the shelter. I am not worried about them, why are you telling me to be worried about them? I choose to brush that off. Why impress that on me?

Another one: a dude who I used to associate with (who got all sorts of shit on him) told me that I should kill someone who had attacked. Yet he got raped and ain’t done shit to his rapists tho he knows where they live…..

Those are examples of people projecting on you, wanting you to be the “hangman” for their emotions, their hangups, their issues…..

Very fucking selfish. So I had to go within to release those bonds.

The second one, and this is why parents MUST watch what they say to the kids…..

Another major subliminal that attracted bad shit was, I had a subliminal fear of being a failure. I love my mama but she was and is a narcissist (due to some trauma) who has to “beef herself up” by belittling/comparing herself to others so she can jolt herself up.

I swear out of jealousy (which many mothers have of their daughters), she subconsciously instilled in me that I can never survive on my own, do my own hair (she straightened it cause that is how society saw how black hair should be treated), and – I swear so many subconscious emotions are coming out now – knocked me for being me.

She would call me a “dirty tennis shoe” girl cause I didn’t give a fuck about my appearance and still don’t.

I am a fucking hippie

I am truly a free spirit!

I don’t anchor myself to this 3D reality too much and don’t care too given all the trauma and fucked up shit that runs rampant in this realm.

Why would I wanna be connected to constant low vibratory trauma?

Your body is a shell, a vessel for those of us who got Souls…..

Why should Earthly trinkets, material things rule me?

My dad has always been into the paranormal and I myself have always looked to the stars for answers on things…..

…You read my blog. I don’t frilly shit up. I’m blunt. I probably could be wealthy if I catered to the dumb down status quo of organic portals but…. I don’t.

I’m honest about issues I face. I’m upfront. I’m real.

That said, cause of my mom’s background (she hailed from the Desire Projects of New Orleans), her worth is based on Earthly trinkets of status, keeping up and doing if possible MORE than the Jonses, and just material gain. She is like that due to an event that happened when she was young when a light skinned bitch in a beemer in the 50s almost ran her over and the bitch berated her, telling her, a small child, out of anger, “To get the FUCK (yes she cursed a child) out the street” and treated her like trash cause she lived in the projects.

I wanna cry just thinking about it – that is what folks call “genetic memory.” Though I didn’t go thru what she went through, cause we are related and thus have etheric chords to each other – I feel her pain. This is why the pain that we blacks still carry in our genetic memory still affects us and needs to be taken seriously…..

I strongly feel that the way in which I am has protected me from deep trauma. I recall when taking Taekwondo a light skinned instructor separated me and this white girl – we were both 7 – and did this “innie minnie miney mo” shit where he pointed to her and said that she was the most attractive between us two. Needless to say that shit didn’t bother me.

However I found out years later that he was homeless, lost his wife and home, and lived under a blanket. Wonder how that happened ??

That being said there are still some layers that need to be pulled back, I still have a ways to go.

In closing, this why it can be VERY integral to really, truly, meditating. It ain’t necessarily this shit here ????‍♀️ where you sit with your legs crossed and arms folded like you a fucking genie.

Your intuition, when it is the right time, will guide you and I mean the explosion of deep long buried emotions and memories came at me like an avalanche.

Yesterday I thought it was an entity attachment on the right eye that was the problem…..

I RealEYES That The Black Snake Right Eyed Entity Attachment Is Designed To Keep Us Enslaved To The Matrix

It I think is actually a part of me and due to the trauma my soul could not “breathe” due to closures in the chakra. My Soul breathed last night and early this morning.

Imma be real – last night and early this morning – when I confronted and released that shit, my consciousness expanded. I didn’t want any alkie-hole, nothing. It seems that when I get rid of certain afflicting Soul pieces, my energy body/consciousness boomerangs back to tightening around my physical body as if one of those rubber bands is tying to me tight.

Something going on in the throat chakra.

Now my big issues are trying to figure out if I am doing the right thing by getting rid of some damaged Soul pieces when I encounter the “heart” of the trauma…..

I also gotta think about what to do with baby Rat Fink:

 

I don’t wanna hurt him but I don’t want him in my car to fuck up shit (I notice he hasn’t really). Whittle bad fucker ?

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