I broke him down here…..
It’s funny, all yesterday I just so happened to be listening to Linkin Park songs which I had a sudden desire for, songs that deal with addiction and spiritual issues and the shadow self….
Songs like Papercut which is DEFINITELY about the shadow self and fearing the light……
Crawling which is DEFINITELY about addiction and every. lyric. resonated with me…..
And Numb, which is about finding your identity against bullshit social mores…..
ALL of these are topics that I am grappling with right now that resonate like a mofo……
I wonder – I feel there might be a hole in my Soul and it needs to be filled otherwise these addictions will continue due to there being a hole there.
That said, I looked at my onscreen picture on my screensaver and noted that when I merged what I thought was my shadow self I saw burnt orange, dark splotches of brown all over me. Brown connotes to addictions spiritually. Burnt orange means you desire change and an end to your situation.
When I removed it I got my usual purple, blue and yellow streaks.
Imma be real, as part of my shadow self I ENJOY flouncing societal bullshit morals. My belief is as long as you aren’t doing shit against folks wills why the fuck not which applies to female shirtlessness and public nudity. Fuck them bullshit false organic portal mores – as long as you ain’t raping anybody or killing anybody why not? I think society would be better and less mofos depressed and on drugs, killing themselves and others if people would just let people be!
I’m naturally antisocial. I like throwing mofos off like here…..
– Had to take that shit off my altar and throw it away…… Brought bad luck!
This kid was nice I dunno why I was tripping…. but I think I do.
Old dude here got some bad entity attachments – he is OBSESSED with sex and kept begging me for such and had a dead look in his eyes which is indicative of reptilian possession. I saw two sacrificial heads: one that initially looked human then shapeshifted into a reptilian like being and a giant female sacrificial head chasing and pounding on him:
I know this squidward thing is some past life associate who I saw myself doing karate with at a Buddhist dojo in a prior incarnation who had chosen the darkness and has decided to FIERCELY attach to me and cause me untold misey and ALL my incarnations to cause me to suffer in hell as it has.
It is a terrible situation and I am at my wits end on how to make this terrible sonofabitch leave cause he won’t and it’s driving me crazy cause I am giving MY ALL to run it up the street without letting it control me….. and destroy this incarnation…..
I will say this. I know that if I don’t do something about this shadow self, I’l the type who is like a ticking time bomb and can blow without the balance.