I’m near healing…..
There is so much shit I gotta exorcise out of me – plus I gotta mend my Soul as well – it just….. it just…..
I have been hearing for some years now a phantom ring of a cellphone and thru my third eye I saw it was coming from a white reptilian….. That mofo I saw also contributes to the alcohol urges (there is nothing wrong with alcohol but when you got something influencing urges in you – then that is a problem – I also saw a demonic female clown occupying the right side of my neck).
They influence bad shit to happen (I am actually an overly nice and happy drunk who gives hugs to everyone) like this weekend….. the fruit vendor mofo here.
See, I never liked this mofo and I am always right about people…..
Ya’ll probably seen it but – and at first I was gonna cuss him out but then I felt a “zap” and something took over and hugged this mofo even against my own drunken consciousness, my best wishes, and he grabbed my butt, stuck a finger in me sneakily and then had his camera (I remember everything) snugged between me and him where I hugged him.
That’s a pos!
I mean yeah I expose mofos but I hate getting hurt and when those urges I am like mentally in a drone state:
I notice too when I drink I look younger…..
I think it could also be my own Soul cause it is like subliminally – straight from the sacral chakra – I keep wanting to focus on living in the material realm, making it hard for me to wanna meditate and go within.
I’m fighting like my lower Self. I would like for my desire to be oriented towards escaping this realm via more constructive means but it is hard when a very strong aspect of you (?) doesn’t.
That said Imma continue doing some type of shadow work. Given the most previous past life traumas of my past lives it is for certain they came with heartache – and quite possibly the shit I been battling, like Beelzebub!
* I forgot to mention, I peep when I drank – not drink, I get “rewarded” by getting money, customers. Otherwise there is a stranglehold on my money and it has to be via sex work I get it. AND I have to not only be mere drinking but have to have suffered a trauma to get said fucked up “blessings.” It’s been like that since that satanic period!